Whitehall is still a crazy mess, so Spirita and I will tomorrow be making our own bid for power. No one voted us into power, but it's OK: no one voted them in either. News, as it happens:

• 11.15 - Spirita and Unmutual decide to form a coalition over baked beans and mash.
  

• 11.58- the new Coalition Government of Horn Lane declare the first aspects of their manifesto: they are "definitely pro-Susie", but are anti "sugar-free peanut butter". Where they will stand on the bus is yet to be revealed.
  

• 0.08 - Calypso, the official opposition, has just threatened military junta.

• 00:10 - Talks begin with "The Lauren Party", a splinter group for "judgemental people who like pirates"

• 00:12 - First look at the headlines "No, We Still Don't Know Anything" says the Times; "Top Political Journalists Are Now Two Days Past Their Bedtime" says the Guardian; "Britain's Got Talent Horror" says Sun.
  

• 00.15 - the Lauren Party refuses to join the coalition. Plans are made to nuke her. We would also nuke the opposition, but unfortunately she lives with us and that's not how nuclear fallout works.

• 00.30 - maybe real politics would be better if the leaders all had to share a house? Or does that way bad fanfic lie?