Day three of what is undoubtedly an emotional hangover from Watchmen. Slump.
This always happens with my obsessions - and that's what it is, surely. I've gone through all the usual stages: the vivid dreams, the doodles, the desire to make plushie toys of major characters and arguments at length on the meaning of a single sentence. Yes, Watchmen is obsession no. 7, if you count Dorian Gray (which I don't, necessarily).
And now the final stage - the emo-hangover, which I've gone through so many times now I've worked out what it is. It's the moment it hits me that I've got a real life to go back to, that the fictional world is too small for me to stay in, and that I can't spend all my time immersed in whatever form the fiction takes (instead of following my natural urge, to just stick The Godfather on repeat). It's recognising that actually, it only exists between the pages and there is nothing else around the corner, and the people in the background don't have names, and that outside of the plot it all just stops. This is accompanied by constant thinking about the subject in question, and an inability to think about anything else. Distracted, as if this is the fake reality, and you're on hold waiting to get back to the real one. And it really, really stings.
This tends to be in proportion to the size of the world - I don't remember ever getting it too badly for Lord of the Rings, because that is an obsession you can live 24/7. You can read, watch or listen to the story; there's a thousand pieces of music, or spin-off novels, or books about the subject. You can learn the languages and bake lembas. It was really rough for Reservoir Dogs - it's only 90 minutes long, in almost real time, and you know nothing about the characters. There's very little to immerse yourself in, and not much to do besides re-re-re-rewatching the film. I got around it by attempting to write an essay-book about the themes and construction of the movie, which was actually rather brilliant. It's made me notice a lot of things, and I can tell you as a piece of art, it's far more clever and impressively constructed than it appears on first glance. Ask me about it sometime, particularly the way Mr Blonde is presented and the way QT manipulates the amount of information the audience has, it's genius!
This always happens with my obsessions - and that's what it is, surely. I've gone through all the usual stages: the vivid dreams, the doodles, the desire to make plushie toys of major characters and arguments at length on the meaning of a single sentence. Yes, Watchmen is obsession no. 7, if you count Dorian Gray (which I don't, necessarily).
And now the final stage - the emo-hangover, which I've gone through so many times now I've worked out what it is. It's the moment it hits me that I've got a real life to go back to, that the fictional world is too small for me to stay in, and that I can't spend all my time immersed in whatever form the fiction takes (instead of following my natural urge, to just stick The Godfather on repeat). It's recognising that actually, it only exists between the pages and there is nothing else around the corner, and the people in the background don't have names, and that outside of the plot it all just stops. This is accompanied by constant thinking about the subject in question, and an inability to think about anything else. Distracted, as if this is the fake reality, and you're on hold waiting to get back to the real one. And it really, really stings.
This tends to be in proportion to the size of the world - I don't remember ever getting it too badly for Lord of the Rings, because that is an obsession you can live 24/7. You can read, watch or listen to the story; there's a thousand pieces of music, or spin-off novels, or books about the subject. You can learn the languages and bake lembas. It was really rough for Reservoir Dogs - it's only 90 minutes long, in almost real time, and you know nothing about the characters. There's very little to immerse yourself in, and not much to do besides re-re-re-rewatching the film. I got around it by attempting to write an essay-book about the themes and construction of the movie, which was actually rather brilliant. It's made me notice a lot of things, and I can tell you as a piece of art, it's far more clever and impressively constructed than it appears on first glance. Ask me about it sometime, particularly the way Mr Blonde is presented and the way QT manipulates the amount of information the audience has, it's genius!
Typically, it also tends to be in proportion to the number of my favourite characters who don't make it to the end credits - usually between "most of them" and "all of them" - but I obviously can't comment on whether or not this applies to Watchmen (though the trailer should give you a clue...)
Oh yeah, it's me overreacting inappropriately to things which aren't real again, and like usual I do recognise it's nuts but can't help it - not to mention on day three, it's ceased to be funny. It's just a matter of finding a way to ground myself, I'm sure - maybe fighting fire with fire, and sticking on some Tarantino will help? Or will that just intensify it? God forbid, maybe I should just stick Planet of Fire (which is a baby-breakdown in a box) - it'd certainly flush out the systems! Until then, I'm going to try and remember how I dug myself out of it last time. Ugh.
Not to mention the graphic novel is on serious special offer at Waterstones. Do you think that would help? I'm pretty sure having the damn thing in my room would just exacerbate matters...
In other news, I've just picked my Film Studies modules for the next 2 years. Which was harder because I didn't know than I did - choice between several bad options is trickier than between several good ones. All the interesting ones evaporated. In any case:
Year 1: Semester 1
Oh yeah, it's me overreacting inappropriately to things which aren't real again, and like usual I do recognise it's nuts but can't help it - not to mention on day three, it's ceased to be funny. It's just a matter of finding a way to ground myself, I'm sure - maybe fighting fire with fire, and sticking on some Tarantino will help? Or will that just intensify it? God forbid, maybe I should just stick Planet of Fire (which is a baby-breakdown in a box) - it'd certainly flush out the systems! Until then, I'm going to try and remember how I dug myself out of it last time. Ugh.
Not to mention the graphic novel is on serious special offer at Waterstones. Do you think that would help? I'm pretty sure having the damn thing in my room would just exacerbate matters...
In other news, I've just picked my Film Studies modules for the next 2 years. Which was harder because I didn't know than I did - choice between several bad options is trickier than between several good ones. All the interesting ones evaporated. In any case:
Year 1: Semester 1
French New Wave - second choice, as I've never seen a Truffaut/Chabrol/Godard movie and it's an important movement.
History of Silent Cinema - could be interesting, but I already know enough about the Hollywood star system
Italian Neorealism - ugh no! The clue is in "...realism". Though to be fair, I've only ever seen La Strada from the genre and rather enjoyed it.
Topics in World Cinema - first choice. Well, it's random and that's why I like it. Latin American cinema? African cinema? Iranian cinema?! Plus a bit of Asian cinema for good measure. Picked it because I've no idea what we'll study.
Year 1: Semester 2
British National Cinema - an easy first choice, I'm well into my Blitz movies and stiff upper lip. I enjoyed doing the Swinging Sixties for AS Film Studies as well and the module description claims the emphasis will be on London and the Strand. Bingo!
Spanish National Cinema - this is where cinema is at right now, and that's why I can't be bothered with it - most people will apply for this, unlikely to get on.
Film Forms: Documentary Cinema - UGH NO! Mercy at the very thought!
History of Sound Cinema - second choice, mostly because I'm interested in film music.
Year 2: Semester 1
The Hollywood Musical - don't feel I have anything new to learn about this. I'm sure I do, but already being partly familiar makes it hard to learn anything.
Film Noir - first choice, and this I am really, really looking forward to. I'll be disappointed if I lose it.
Third Cinema and Beyond - second choice, again because I know nothing about it.
Year 2: Semester 2
American Underground cinema - first choice, because experimental cinema really gives you soething to get your head into as art because you're not being distracted by little things like "plot"
European Crime Film -regretful second choice. This was really my first choice - except they've chosen serial killers as their theme, and I just couldn't stomach a term of Jack the Ripper, giallo, Dario Argento and Henry: Portrait of A. Crying shame, of course, because I'd love to get into all those issues of violence and exploitation. I just couldn't watch the movies, and thinking about the issues would put me in a disturbed and uncomfortable place. Hence why it's a second choice, because I'm hoping fate will decide between the two for me. If I end up on this course, c'est la vie. If not I'll be disappointed, but will probably be for the best. It's only provisional anyway.
Stardom and Performance - hmmm. Yawn.
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