1. Utilitarianism doesn't work
If "the greatest good for the greatest number" was applied universally, then you get some sticky moral problems - and not simply "if I have to blow up New York to save the world, then is the world really worth saving?". The Peeping Tom scenario gives us a happy voyeur, and a happy woman unware she is being watched. The right thing to do here is obviously to stop the peeping, but under strict utilitarianism it wouldn't make sense: the woman would be unhappy to learn she was watched, and the voyeur's fun would be taken away. And that's why utilitarianism doesn't work. Or something.
2. Carrots used to be purple
They were bred orange by some patriotic Dutch guy about 500 years ago.
3. You can milk an extra six working hours out of a day
All you have to do is work out what hours you are most productive. For me, that's 9 in the morning to about 12 midday. Work as normal. When you hit the end of productive time, turn back your watch and work the same hours over again. And then do it a third time. It's amazing how this simple trick of the mind really does make it seem like you've perfected the art of time travel. Don't attempt this more than one day in a row, or prepared to be exhausted and confused. As Calypso pointed out, you are effectively giving yourself jetlag....
4. A man can be beaten to death with a copy of the Big Issue
Or London Paper, or Metro, or any magazine given half a minute's work. It's known as a Millwall club or Millwall brick, and makes me feel about 0.8% safer walking home at night.
5. It's worth making a point, even if it's pointless
I've always rejected vegitarianism because it doesn't make a difference. It still doesn't make a difference: my sacrifice isn't bettering the life of a single chicken, nor extending that of a single cow. That doesn't matter any more: I do it because it is better to do so. I think a lot of human apathy would be cured by that mindset.
6. Artists everywhere!
Feliks Topolski, the Decemberists, Rainer Warner Fassbinder, the Manic Street Preachers, Lewis Klahr, Amanda Palmer, Peter Tsscherkassky, Bat for Lashes and Martin Arnold. To name a few.
7. IMAX is cinema
Why settle for anything smaller?
8. Dinner tastes best after 8PM
At home, we tend to have an early dinner. I've never known why. Late tea means late lunch, extending the productive working hours in the morning. The rest of the evening after Late tea can be given to chatting, and not interrupted because there's no time for something more constructive. And late tea doesn't interfere with Doctor Who broadcast times.
9. Other people don't matter
I have the right to wear what I like, love who I want to, choose my appearance, my presentation, my life, and damn the rest. I know I've never really cared about opinions, but now I really don't care. It's awesomely liberating. Before I went to London, a few of my relatives worried how I'd cope in such a cold, unfriendly atmosphere - but there's no where free-er than a place where no-one gives a damn is.
10. Twitter
Nuff said.
11. You can get from Victoria to St Pancras in under 20 minutes
Without a mobile phone, Oyster card, cash or bankcard. Go figure.
12. You can get tickets for sold-out plays at less than face value...
...provided you have the strength, nerve and patience to queue in the early morning cold.
13. Patrick Stewart can't act on stage
I'm about to be shouted down here, but I'm sorry: I don't get it. I saw him in Hamlet, against David Tennant. Strictly, my mind should have been going "it's Doctor Who!" - but it didn't, and after five minutes he was simply Hamlet. Patrick Stewart, however, remained Patrick Stewart and I didn't like his interpretation. Similarly in Waiting for Godot, against a man who will always be Gandalf to me, I barely even remembered it was Ian McKellan under the top hat - whereas again, the other actor was always firmly in mind.
14. Butler's Wharf and Shad Thames
There are lots of cool places in London, but the Southbank is my second home and this part especially. Doctor Who filmed there in the 80s, but that's not what keeps drawing me back. Several reasons have since occured to me, all of them weird, but agree the place has great atmosphere?
15. Everyone sounds better live
The way to appreciate a band is to actually see them. Fan for life.
16. Pokemon was actually a Gameboy game, before a TV show or card game
Apparently, I'm the only person who didn't already know this.
17. Current 93 is the ultimate test of nerve
"The huge tree bubbles in its arms / And long processions / Kill the kings and cover / The babies in soap paradise / Pure glass in the cactus smile / Of the Madonna of Chandeliers..."
I can cope about 8 tracks into the album before giving up a shuddering wreck. The one time I actually got to 15, the computer crashed as protest.
18. Doctor Who fans are nuts
Yes, you are the only one under 20. Yes, you are strangely female. And yes, you are the only one without that half-vacant stabbity stare beloved of tramps and bus-weirdos everywhere. Be afraid, be very afraid.
19. Movies and TV shows set "in London" are rarely ever filmed there
Feeling homesick when you only have a very nebulous concept of "home" is a strange experience. Right now, "home" tends to be groups of people, not places. But as I treat London as a living entity (like the dreaming city from Sandman), it does come under that definition. I've found myself getting really, really excited whenever it turns up in movies. Only to have a bucket of cold water dashed upon me when I realise it's only central Cardiff and some very clever editing. Once you live there, you can tell - because they shoot like I shot Mordor on Cobo Beach. Tight angles, lots of cuts, no recognisable landmarks. A few stock establishing shots of major landmarks. It only bothers me because I want it to be proper London so much.
20. I was right about the direction of sunrise over the Thames
Always have been, always will be.
If "the greatest good for the greatest number" was applied universally, then you get some sticky moral problems - and not simply "if I have to blow up New York to save the world, then is the world really worth saving?". The Peeping Tom scenario gives us a happy voyeur, and a happy woman unware she is being watched. The right thing to do here is obviously to stop the peeping, but under strict utilitarianism it wouldn't make sense: the woman would be unhappy to learn she was watched, and the voyeur's fun would be taken away. And that's why utilitarianism doesn't work. Or something.
2. Carrots used to be purple
They were bred orange by some patriotic Dutch guy about 500 years ago.
3. You can milk an extra six working hours out of a day
All you have to do is work out what hours you are most productive. For me, that's 9 in the morning to about 12 midday. Work as normal. When you hit the end of productive time, turn back your watch and work the same hours over again. And then do it a third time. It's amazing how this simple trick of the mind really does make it seem like you've perfected the art of time travel. Don't attempt this more than one day in a row, or prepared to be exhausted and confused. As Calypso pointed out, you are effectively giving yourself jetlag....
4. A man can be beaten to death with a copy of the Big Issue
Or London Paper, or Metro, or any magazine given half a minute's work. It's known as a Millwall club or Millwall brick, and makes me feel about 0.8% safer walking home at night.
5. It's worth making a point, even if it's pointless
I've always rejected vegitarianism because it doesn't make a difference. It still doesn't make a difference: my sacrifice isn't bettering the life of a single chicken, nor extending that of a single cow. That doesn't matter any more: I do it because it is better to do so. I think a lot of human apathy would be cured by that mindset.
6. Artists everywhere!
Feliks Topolski, the Decemberists, Rainer Warner Fassbinder, the Manic Street Preachers, Lewis Klahr, Amanda Palmer, Peter Tsscherkassky, Bat for Lashes and Martin Arnold. To name a few.
7. IMAX is cinema
Why settle for anything smaller?
8. Dinner tastes best after 8PM
At home, we tend to have an early dinner. I've never known why. Late tea means late lunch, extending the productive working hours in the morning. The rest of the evening after Late tea can be given to chatting, and not interrupted because there's no time for something more constructive. And late tea doesn't interfere with Doctor Who broadcast times.
9. Other people don't matter
I have the right to wear what I like, love who I want to, choose my appearance, my presentation, my life, and damn the rest. I know I've never really cared about opinions, but now I really don't care. It's awesomely liberating. Before I went to London, a few of my relatives worried how I'd cope in such a cold, unfriendly atmosphere - but there's no where free-er than a place where no-one gives a damn is.
10. Twitter
Nuff said.
11. You can get from Victoria to St Pancras in under 20 minutes
Without a mobile phone, Oyster card, cash or bankcard. Go figure.
12. You can get tickets for sold-out plays at less than face value...
...provided you have the strength, nerve and patience to queue in the early morning cold.
13. Patrick Stewart can't act on stage
I'm about to be shouted down here, but I'm sorry: I don't get it. I saw him in Hamlet, against David Tennant. Strictly, my mind should have been going "it's Doctor Who!" - but it didn't, and after five minutes he was simply Hamlet. Patrick Stewart, however, remained Patrick Stewart and I didn't like his interpretation. Similarly in Waiting for Godot, against a man who will always be Gandalf to me, I barely even remembered it was Ian McKellan under the top hat - whereas again, the other actor was always firmly in mind.
14. Butler's Wharf and Shad Thames
There are lots of cool places in London, but the Southbank is my second home and this part especially. Doctor Who filmed there in the 80s, but that's not what keeps drawing me back. Several reasons have since occured to me, all of them weird, but agree the place has great atmosphere?
15. Everyone sounds better live
The way to appreciate a band is to actually see them. Fan for life.
16. Pokemon was actually a Gameboy game, before a TV show or card game
Apparently, I'm the only person who didn't already know this.
17. Current 93 is the ultimate test of nerve
"The huge tree bubbles in its arms / And long processions / Kill the kings and cover / The babies in soap paradise / Pure glass in the cactus smile / Of the Madonna of Chandeliers..."
I can cope about 8 tracks into the album before giving up a shuddering wreck. The one time I actually got to 15, the computer crashed as protest.
18. Doctor Who fans are nuts
Yes, you are the only one under 20. Yes, you are strangely female. And yes, you are the only one without that half-vacant stabbity stare beloved of tramps and bus-weirdos everywhere. Be afraid, be very afraid.
19. Movies and TV shows set "in London" are rarely ever filmed there
Feeling homesick when you only have a very nebulous concept of "home" is a strange experience. Right now, "home" tends to be groups of people, not places. But as I treat London as a living entity (like the dreaming city from Sandman), it does come under that definition. I've found myself getting really, really excited whenever it turns up in movies. Only to have a bucket of cold water dashed upon me when I realise it's only central Cardiff and some very clever editing. Once you live there, you can tell - because they shoot like I shot Mordor on Cobo Beach. Tight angles, lots of cuts, no recognisable landmarks. A few stock establishing shots of major landmarks. It only bothers me because I want it to be proper London so much.
20. I was right about the direction of sunrise over the Thames
Always have been, always will be.
Comments (2)
but if at 5pm each day you are sunk in a starving pit of ennui and you have a natural energy peak between 7 and 9pm it makes perfect sense to dine at 6. you get an evening uncluttered by meals and a bedtime freed from having to clear the dishes...
newnumbertwo pinching Linnymon's machine
I am so very proud of how many of these I can take credit (or partial credit) for or have been involved with. :D Yaaaaay for a brilliant first year, and he's to many more!
(Meropp - when a Muse needs an operation? Hmm, I'm not really on form tonight...)